Mitzi, Remember I come from a military communication and writing "drilled into me" style:
1. Tell Dick what you want in the first sentence: "Dear Dick, I want to clarify my actions that has inadvertently upset Bob. I asked Bob for the contact information of our 20+ years of MIT Seminar Graduates, was told it was proprietary and went directly to the authority who could determine that status."
2. Tell him of your role in Seminar XXI (the history with Suzanne, being the connector, the communicator) and its resulting impact of being the only program that maintains a sense of community.
3. Tell him the value of the community today. (Here is where the history of Seminar XXI intersects the changes in DoD and the two generations of changes since 1984). The community is now the grass roots foundation of the future of our government, and MIT is in the dead center of it. His program is in the dead center of it. (Flattery always helps Men listen).
4. Tell him why you called the General Counsel: "I requested the contact information for our Seminar XXI alumni and was told it was proprietary to MIT. I called the General Counsel to request permission to gain access. My intent for access is to ... "
5. Tell him why as a founding executive board member of Seminar XXI, your role is to continue to communicate with the senior leadership of DoD to identify their current and future needs then challenge the Alumni and current Seminar XXI class to meet those needs. That, on occasion requires suggested readings from the class, alumni, and current and past board members. Our goal is to continue to put the MIT Seminar XXI program as the leading educational/government organization.
Areas you may have been concerned about: I'd take out the bold print, underlining, and capital letters. Your point is made without them.
Pg 6: Shen Suzanne left the program i was able to start having ... (is negative about Suzanne, not really relevant to your issue)
Pg 5: Suggest the section on "Why Did I Call the General Counsel's Office" should not only bring up the request for Alumni contact information but also bring up the concern you have that all valuable current thought should be offered to the Seminar XXI participants, via "Not required Reading". This seems to be a concern of Bob's as it is not following the protocols of University teaching. That protocol is outside of the intended purpose of the program.
Edits:
Pg 1, Para 1: First sentence is incomplete because you put a period after officers (line 3) and She was...
Pg 5, Para 3, Line 4: "but they don't seem to mind." Don't instead of do???
Let me know if you need more. Standing by.
Marcy
On Feb 21, 2010, at 5:40 PM, Mitzi Wertheim wrote:
ALL HELP AND SUGGESTIONS WELCOME
MANY THANKS
MITZI
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Mitzi M Wertheim
Professor of Practice for Sustainability, Enterprises & Social Networks
Cebrowski Institute
Naval Postgraduate School
mitzi.wertheim@gmail.com
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